


Adventures Through Space and Time

by Stelera



Category: Adventure Time, Doctor Who, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Adventure, Illustrated, Lab Report, Multi-Crossover, Multi-Era, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-10-13
Packaged: 2017-11-16 05:25:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stelera/pseuds/Stelera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy, AKA Doctor Horrible, has not been well since the incident; like the spark left along with Penny. When a mysterious time-traveler called The Doctor shows up in his lab everything changes. Billy can only hold on for dear life as he's dragged along into the distant future for the adventure of a lifetime. As they jump though time the duo quickly grows into a rather disjointed posse.  When an old enemy of The Doctor is released from its dark prison, differences must be set aside and bygones left to be bygones as the world is once again threatened with destruction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Doctor and The Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> Last year, for my Circuit Theory 2 lab, each group was required to write up a lab report which detailed the findings of our final lab (worth 30% of the class grade). We were informed by the lab TA that any group which wrote their lab report in the form of an adventure story would receive extra credit. My first idea was to write an adventure about Portal for our report, but I was caught up in so many fandoms at the time I couldn't decide between them. In the end it became a personal challenge; to write a story for this lab report which combined Adventure Time, Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Doctor Who, and Portal. I ended up writing a 29 page story, accompanied by a 10 page statistical report, 3 title and cover pages, and several illustrations. I hope you enjoy the monster I've created.

 

Billy hunched forward, trying his best to blend into the scene at Dewily Park so that perhaps he could relax and try to enjoy the weather in peace. The sun was bright, the sky was nearly cloudless and the temperature was more than comfortable. At least he was getting some fresh air. Doctor Horrible had not been well lately; no, his physical health was tip-top aside from a slight electrolyte imbalance due to few too many dinners of instant ramen soup. Ever since his final battle with Captain Hammer, Billy had been in a slump of languid uncertainty. Becoming a member of the Evil League of Evil was all he’d ever wanted- all he’d ever _dreamed_ of since he got his first chemistry set as a child, and now the mad scientist felt dissatisfied. It just didn’t add up. He’d reached the goal he’d set out to achieve so many years ago… why wasn’t he happy? It was pointless asking. Billy knew why. It was partially his own fault, Partially Penny’s, and partially someone else’s entirely…

 

***

 

_It hadn’t been long after his initiation into the E.L.E. when he’d been hard at work in his lab, trying to fix the last of the bugs in his Trans-Matter Ray; the molecular shift problem was still a persistent issue. He’d tried replacing the materializing catalyst with something more potent, but not even volatilium seemed to do the trick, so that idea was quickly abandoned. He’d toyed with the idea of simply moving the target through space time in lieu of breaking it down and reconstructing it, but that would require the Trans-Matter Ray idea to be scrapped completely, and he wasn’t ready to admit defeat just yet._

_Carefully the scientist soddered a new component into the internal circuit board of his invention and gave the new equipment a quick puff of breath before attempting to start up the contraption. Alas, as many other additions had, the new component didn’t agree with the Trans-Matter Ray and popped with a spray of sparks. Doctor Horrible couldn’t shut the machine off fast enough, and the little chip flew across his lab, shattering a flask full of bubbling, yellow liquid which proceeded to spill across a workbench lined with blueprints._

_With a howl of frustration, Billy slammed his project down onto the desk and tore the goggles off of his face, hurling them at the ground in an aggravated rage. Burying his face in his latex gloves, the scientist growled and urgently combed his fingers through his hair in a vain attempt to calm himself. Why did this sort of thing always happen to him? For once he’d like to at least get a little close before his invention sputtered and died as opposed to just blowing off every new catalyst as soon as he tried to fire it up. It made him feel utterly disheartened sometimes._

_“Trans-Matter Ray?”_

_Doctor Horrible sat up immediately and whirled around, half leaping, and half stumbling to his feet. Standing on the other side of his lab was a stranger, dressed casually in a leather jacket as if he’d just had a few beers at the pub and had strolled in off the street. Stammering, Billy struggled for something to declare – something menacing that might intimidate this Teleportation-Man – but there was nothing. What do you say to someone who simply appears in your locked and encrypted private laboratory?_

_“Ah… uh… it’s… at e-eighty-five percent…” he managed to stammer after gaping stupidly for a moment._

_“Then you’re almost finished? I don’t want to interrupt… I just wanted to stop by for your crowning achievement.” He had this goofy smile on; he tucked his hands so nonchalantly into his pockets as he took a couple paces forward._

_Who is this guy?_

_“Who are you?” Billy finally exclaimed, standing upright and pointing an accusatory finger at the intruder._

_“I’m The Doctor.”_

_That’s it?_

_“Doctor Who?”_

_“Precisely!”_

_That stopped the scientist in his tracks, the quasi-conversation stalling worse than when he’d startled the villain in his moment of defeat. This wasn’t exactly improving his mood any. Quite the contrary actually; Horrible was actually more frustrated now that when his ray chewed up and spat out yet another patch._

_“Look, would you just get outa here? This is kind of a private laboratory and you’re interrupting some very important work mister Doctor.” Billy tried to give the intruder one of his best malicious sneers, hoping it might push this grinning weirdo into retreat._

_“Oh, have we not met before?” Suddenly The Doctor got his hands out of his pockets and he rubbed them together as if the prospect of further introductions was exciting._

_“No, we haven’t… now the door is back behind the flux generator, so if you don’t mind?” What’s wrong with this guy anyway?_

_“Are you kidding, Billy?” he replied, his grin widening even more if that was physically possible. “I’ve been looking forward to when we’d finally meet for the first time for ages!” He looked around as if he couldn’t get enough of the secret, evil lair, shrugging and looking back at the scientist eagerly._

_“How… do you know my name?” Well, he couldn’t think of much more to ask… The Doctor’s grin was really disconcerting, and – for whatever reason – lulling, like this guy was putting the evil genius at ease just by smiling at him._

_“We’ve met before…” The Doctor was so mater-of-fact about it that Billy couldn’t help but believe him; he had no recollection of ever meeting this man before, but he was so sure of himself… “Here, let me have a look at that Trans-Matter Ray. I might be able to help you get it up to one-hundred percent.”_

_How does one even react to that? Doctor Horrible could only step aside and let the other through as he pulled some pen-sized device out of his jacket pocket. Pressing a button on the side of the instrument, it lit up and made a quiet whirring noise as The Doctor swept the green glow across the botched Trans-Matter Ray. The scientist stood back watched with poorly-disguised wonderment as the big-eared fellow fiddled with his invention. Finally the stranger straightened his back, nodding with satisfaction._

_“That ought to do it. Why don’t you test it out now?”_

_Without objecting, the villain picked up his creation, turning the machine on; it lit up and gave a satisfying hum, putting a smile on Doctor Horrible’s face. Quickly he aimed it at a beaker across the room, locking on the target and triggering the transportation process. For a moment there was a grinding noise, like the device was threatening to blow another circuit, but then there was a loud pop and the machine went quiet. The beaker vanished. Another pop. The beaker hovered before the Trans-Matter Ray for a heartbeat before slipping and falling to the ground with a crash._

_Switching the ray off, Doctor Horrible looked over his shoulder with an expression that was nothing less than astonished. He couldn’t get this stupid piece of work to transport a solid after months of tinkering, and then this guy waltzes in out of nowhere and hits it with a laser-pointer for five seconds, now it works like a dream. What?!_

_“Wha- …” Billy trailed off with an aghast expression, lowering his contraption and tilting his head with inquisitive confusion. “How did you DO that?!”_

_“Sonic screwdriver.” The Doctor waved the little tool as if showing off the latest iPhone to hit the market._

_“You know… you told me who you were, but I can’t help the feeling that I didn’t get the whole story,” the evil genus began, giving the other man a skeptical look._

_“Alright, Billy, but you may need to sit down for this one.”_

***

 

Of course he explained everything, the space/time travel… Time Lords… the whole lot of it… and from then he’d been seeing a lot more of The Doctor. The guy just seemed to keep cropping up, like he kept coming back to pop in on Billy’s life.  Truth be told he was getting rather used to the traveler’s visits; he enjoyed The Doctor’s company. It made things feel less lonely since Penny left… Wow. That memory still really hurt.

Billy stirred his frozen yogurt solemnly; all this heavy thinking was making it harder for him to enjoy his favorite treat and the uncommonly warm weather.  He looked up and gazed across the park. Even watching Johnny Snow wait around in his ridiculous parka for hours was beginning to lose its luster. Heaving a sigh the genius leaned back, setting aside his cold dessert and pulling down the hood of his University of Mad Science and Evil Technology sweatshirt.  He smoothed his palms over the top of his head to make sure his hair wasn’t out of place before taking up his spoon and yogurt again.

“Is this seat taken?” Billy’s head snapped up. A tall man was standing with his back to the sun, he was completely silhouetted against the bright day, but the scientist would recognize those big ears anywhere.

“Doctor!” he exclaimed, unable to contain his enthusiasm as he scooted down a little further on the park bench to make room for his friend. “It’s been too long. I was beginning to think you were going to stop showing up.” To this the Time Lord only smiled and took the offered seat, the boards creaking slightly under the new weight.

“I can’t have been gone for too long. You’re still wearing that same old hoodie.”

“Yeah,” Billy paused, his eagerness fading a little as he looked back down to his dessert and stirred the slush a little more. “I haven’t been to the Laundromat in a while. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore…” He looked up, his brow creasing as he tried to convey a little confidence, however falsified it may be. “I’m thinking of just getting a washer … or I could always build one… but that might make all my clothes radioactive…”

“Aw don’t worry about that!” The Doctor replied with his same typical optimism. “Why don’t we make a day of it? Either we can shop around or we’ll build it together. It’ll be like an adventure!”

“You’ve got a messed up sense of adventure, pal.” The scientist replied as he put a spoonful of frozen yogurt into his mouth. “You can go wherever you want, whenever you want and do pretty much whatever you want, and yet you think coming back here and shopping for washing machines is fun.” Finally a smile began to find its way onto Billy’s face and he chuckled a little, though it sounded a bit bittersweet. “Maybe that screwdriver of yours is starting to mess with your brain.”

“Ha ha!” The traveler laughed, clapping Billy firmly on the shoulder. “See? This is why I think that’d be fun. I like being with you, Billy.”

And there it was. A genuine smile finally broke across Doctor Horrible’s face. He wasn’t surprised though; it seemed like whenever the Time Lord showed up he’d fix something that’d been bothering Billy in just a matter of minutes. Maybe that’s why the scientist liked seeing him so much, or perhaps there was more there lurking under the surface. Who knows? Time travel is weird.

“Alright Doc, but only because I can tell you’re so excited about it.” That gloomy mood from before was already beginning to lift. The words made The Doctor give his friend one of his famous grins, wrinkling the deep smile-lines in his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around Billy’s shoulder.

“Fantastic!”

 


	2. Chapter 1: A Boy and his Dog

Life seemed to hum with vibrancy beneath the bright, new skies of Ooo; flush, waving grasslands rippled in the slight breeze as dappling shadows from overhead clouds meander slowly westward  across the cerulean expanse.  Temperate climates, birdsong and the distant babbling of water set the senses at peace as the sun reached its peak over the Great Plains. The gently shifting span of grassland was offset by a single landmark across the rolling hills; a massive willow tree, sagging under the weight of an elaborate home tucked between its branches. The fortification seemed almost out of place; the tree house was built with whatever fabricated materials where readily available.  The debris of yesteryear sprung from every possible nook of the bowing willow, mismatched two-by-fours, dented sheet metal and rusted-out pipes all arranged in elegant disarray to form shelter.

There was a lookout tower constructed in a thick offshoot of the great tree built from the remnants of a hapless rowboat and outfitted with a spyglass and rope bridge connecting the outpost to the rest of the fort.  Draped across the rearmost seat of the misplaced watercraft was a young boy of only 13 years, covering his face with his hands as he relaxed in the warmth of midday and the shade of his tree home.  Beside him a stocky yellow bull-mastiff stretched across the rickety hull of the tree-bound boat, his body extending to impossible lengths as he lie in the dappled sunlight like a serpent dangling from a tree branch, absorbing solar energy. There was a kind of serenity about that moment; the lonesome duo taking a well-deserved break from a fast-paced life of adventure and heroic conquest.  Finn groaned quietly in his sleep as a sliver of light slipped between his fingers and disturbed his eyelids.  He irately grumbled and rolled over, pulling his white eared hat down over his eyes and trying to get comfortable again.  On the other side of the boat, the mastiff snorted in his sleep and adjusted his coils, settling in to the comfortable quiet.

Things stayed perfectly peaceful for a few minutes, long enough for the child to be dosing lightly again, unperturbed by the light of high noon.  However, things never stay calm for long in the life of an adventurer.  At first the noise was distant, reminiscent of an old engine refusing to turn over, but with every pulse the grinding grew louder until it was a mechanical roaring.  Finn sat bolt-upright, nearly falling off of his perch, and whipped around to look behind him just in time to catch a glimpse of it.  With a monstrous whirring noise, a blue box came charging through the air just overhead, clipping the drooping tendrils of the willow and spiraling downward in a wide helix.  The strange craft skipped and skidded across the grass as it made its clumsy landing, finally sputtering to a stop in a freshly carved ditch. The branch they were napping in still quivered from the near collision; with a sleepy groan Jake, the bull-mastiff, lifted his head and looked around dazedly.  Shaking and arching his back, the dog unwound his elastic body from its coil, shrinking his midsection back until he was of proper proportion.  Ears lifting inquisitively he looked over to where the human boy had been asleep.  Finn threw his backpack over his shoulders, clambered out of the boat and grabbed a fist full of sagging branches, sliding down the willow’s arms all the way to the ground.  Grumbling to himself, Jake rolled his shoulders forward and gave his pale pelt a shake before stretching himself down to the ground.

 

 

Once there was solid earth beneath their feet, the pair advanced on the UFO crash site heedless of caution.  Reaching behind him, Finn pulled a rather worn and notched golden sword from a loop in the side of his bag, brandishing the weapon in case whatever had landed in their yard was evil.  As they neared the askew aircraft the duo slowed and eyed the mysterious box skeptically; it looked like a blue, wooden box with a couple windows and a light on top, like some kind of wardrobe, or a dumbwaiter.  Pursing his lips cynically, the boy lunged forward, striking at it with his sword, only for the blade to be deflected despite the box’s flimsy outward appearance.  He paused and took a step back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully and letting his weapon fall to his side as he looked the strange, blue object over.  Finally he shrugged and looked over his shoulder to the dog standing behind him.

“What do you think it is, Jake?” The dog frowned and his wrinkled brow furrowed as he shrugged his shoulders back at Finn.

“I don’t know man. Probably like some alien space-pod full of brain-sucking mutants bent on planetary destruction… Or it could be filled with candy! Let’s crack this bad-boy open!”

“Trapezoid!” Finn exclaimed with a wide grin “I’m all about space-pods and candy!”  Throwing his sword over his shoulder, the adventurer circled the crash site until he found the door with about a foot of soil piled in front of it. At first he tried pushing the door open, but when it didn’t budge the intrepid adventurer didn’t give in; quite the opposite actually.  Stabbing his sword into the ground Finn backed up, putting a good ten feet between himself and the craft before charging at it with a shriek of a battle-cry.  Turning his shoulder forward, he crashed into the door, making it rattle, but it did not come unlatched.  Grumbling to himself, the boy rubbed his shoulder and scowled at the blue box as if the UFO was mocking him.

“Why’d you come here if you’re not even gonna let me in?” Finn grumbled crossly, fixing the craft in a firm glare for a long while before turning on his heel and marching a good twenty feet away. With a huff he wheeled around and crouched, staring down the box as if he might be able to intimidate it into swinging open.

“Uh… Finn? You know maybe this isn’t such a good idea…” Jake offered cautiously, “I mean why not just let me pick the lock with key-hand?” Too late; the young adventurer was shouting and charging full tilt at the box, his head lowered in lieu of a battering ram.  His ears folding back the dog almost couldn’t watch as Finn had another tooth-rattling collision with the strange craft. What he hadn’t expected was for the door to give way, swinging open as the boy bashed his skull against the wooden exterior.  If he hadn’t been so focused on shouldering the splitting pain of bone on solid wood, Finn might have yelped as he went tumbling into the box.  Groaning and clutching the top of his head, the boy hardly noticed that the surface he was now crumpled on was neither wood, nor earth, but a cold set of metal stairs.  There was a long pause filled only with the quiet sounds of Finn nursing his latest injury before finally a voice broke the silence.

“Hey kid, are you oka-“

“Oh my Glob!”  Jake was suddenly in the doorway, “Finn buddy! Are you alright?”

With another groan in response, the boy rolled over, pulling the furry hat off his head to rub tenderly at the bruised top of his skull.  When finally the soreness had dulled down enough for him to open his eyes, the adventurer found himself staring down a pair of sneakers.  He blinked absently at the shoes for moment while he tried to place them on someone familiar, but as it was; Finn didn’t know anyone who wore sneakers.

“Finn!”

He sat back, a hand still carefully cupping his crown. The sneakers were connected to a pair of legs, and those legs to a body, and that body to a face… an unfamiliar face.  Feeling dizzy, the boy slouched a little, finding a wall to rest his back against while he cradled his spinning head.

“Uuuh… wha-?” He questioned vaguely, wincing as a hand touched his chin, holding his wobbly head steady.

“Hey! Don’t touch him, brain-sucking mutant scum!” Finn heard Jake growl, but the hand holding his head still didn’t retreat; instead a calm, close voice replied.

“It’s alright, I won’t hurt him.”  There was a pale green light against his eyelids, and Finn scrunched his nose and brow as a high-pitched vibrating sound hummed though his skull.  “He’s mildly concussed.”  Once the humming had passed the hand holding him steady vanished and he wobbled a little as the spinning in his brain slowed.  His vision was becoming clearer and his thoughts were more coherent.  Though his crown was still throbbing, the worst of the sharp pain had subsided into a dull ache which could be ignored.

When he opened his eyes again, Jake was only inches from his face, paws pressed worriedly against the boy’s knees.  As soon as the mastiff was sure Finn was alright, he grinned and gave the kid’s face a glad lick, giving his nose and chin a good coating of dog slobber.  Finn laughed and gave his friend’s snout a pat, causing Jake to snort and chuckle as he retreated, giving the boy his space.

“See, I told ya you shoulda just let me use key-hand.”

“Yeah, whatever dude,” Finn replied as he collected his hat and pulled it back on over his blonde locks.  With a grunt he pulled himself to his feet, dusting off his knees a looking up.  Firstly he noticed again that he and Jake weren’t alone and there were, in fact, two men also in the blue box.  Secondly he noticed that they weren’t actually in the blue box anymore, but in some sort of big round room like the belly of a flying saucer.  It was an awful lot for him to take in, and he fell into an astonished hush.

The space they were in at the moment was almost perfectly circular, save for a few stairwells which sprung like roots from an intermediate platform.  The entire structure seemed to converge onto a central axis; a large pole in the center stretched from the floor to the ceiling like the trunk of a massive metallic tree interlaced with veins of pulsing green light. Finn took his time observing the odd pair of men he’d nearly toppled into upon head-butting the box door. One was a rather lanky, angular gentleman with brunet hair parted on the side and combed over into a stately arc, a tweed jacket and a plaid bow tie.  The other was a bit shorter and more smooth-featured with wheat-blonde hair in a short cowlick, a grey hooded sweatshirt, faded jeans, and well-exercised sneakers.  After looking around with befuddled confusion for a few minutes, Finn finally shrugged as if he was finally giving up on some puzzle and wished to be given the answer.

“Alright, I give up. Who are you guys supposed to be?”

“I could ask the same to – oof!” The blonde man started to retort before he received a sharp nudge from his companion’s elbow.  The man in the bow tie scolded him quietly about being rude to children for a moment before he turned back to Finn and gave him a cordial nod.

“You must excuse us… I’m The Doctor, and this is my good friend Billy, and we’re… um…”

“Time travelers,” Billy interrupted, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “The Doctor’s always funky with introductions, but we’re time travelers… well…” he paused and glanced over at the taller fellow as if he was looking for confirmation, “at least The Doctor’s a time traveler. I’m just kind of along for the ride…”

“Radical” Finn breathed in awe as he leaned back; letting himself rest against the wall again until his balance was completely restored.  “So then is this like your time machine?”

“Yes, this is the TARDIS – Time And Relative Dimension In Space.” The Doctor replied tucking his thumbs into his pockets and trying to appear as casual as his friend and managing only to fidget with the hems of his jacket.  “I usually don’t let strangers in her, but I didn’t really have much of a choice this time around.”

“Whoa!” the doctors had officially lost the attention of their new guests in favor of the splendor of the TARDIS.  Somehow Finn managed to stagger up the stairs to the controls of the spacecraft, looking over the brightly lit panel of knobs and buttons with wide-eyed fascination.  Jake stretched after him, supporting the boy when he tilted a little too far to the side.

“This is a real time machine? That is totally bananas!” the mastiff exclaimed as he turned back towards The Doctor and Billy, his ears perking upward and his tail wagging with excitement.  “You guys must be from like a bazillion years in the future!”

“Oh, well… a bazillion isn’t really an accurate erm… measure of time…” The Doctor replied, rocking from his toes to his heels, clearly nervous about having strangers in his time machine. “But actually, Billy’s from about two thousand years in the past.”

“That is so nuts!”

The Time Lord was about to go on to explain further, but he was interrupted by a worried expression from his companion as Billy prodded him nervously.

“That dog is talking… and… stretching…” The scientist murmured so as not to draw attention to it, almost as if he was confirming the statement with the other man.

“Of course he is.” The Doctor replied simply, smiling at Jake and giving a nod as to make quite sure the mastiff wasn’t offended.  “You haven’t been on many trips yet, but trust me when I say a talking dog is _not_ the strangest thing you’re going to see when you ride in the TARDIS, my friend.”  While the blonde continued to give him a sideways look of continued befuddlement, the Time Lord seemed to let his mind wander, eventually catching sight of Finn still looking over the ship’s controls with amazement.  He was up the stairs quickly, glancing over the boy’s shoulder and making sure he wasn’t touching anything before taking a step back and watching him curiously.

“How’s your head feeling, Finn?”

“It’s fine. I’m used to getting bonked on the noggin” he responded without looking up from the bright panel of brass dials and blinking buttons.  “ _I’m used to getting bonked on the noggin_ ” he repeated quietly, making The Doctor frown with concern.  Leaning to try and get a good look at Finn’s face, he could tell the injury wasn’t otherwise adversely affecting the adventurer, but at the same time the skip raised a red flag.

“Well you just stay there and I’ll be back in a minute. I’ve got some medicine that’ll make it feel a lot better.”  The man took a step back, but didn’t get far before Finn began to protest to even the thought of medication.

“No way man; medicine is gross! Besides, if I was really hurt, I could just fix it with some of my magical Cyclops tears.”

“No you couldn’t!”  Jake called from the other side of the TARDIS where he was stretching into entertaining shapes for the awestruck scientist.  “You used the last of the tears to heal Marceline when she got stabbed by that two-headed scorpion a week ago, remember?”

“Oh yeah…” Finn muttered, seeming dejected.  “Anyway, medicine is still gross!”

“Not this medicine,” The Doctor interjected with a bit of a smile.  “It tastes just like chocolate, I promise.”  At this Finn twisted his mouth to the side and pouted slightly but eventually gave in; seeing the man so enthusiastic about helping had eventually torn down his defenses.  With a distracted looking smile, the time traveler turned on his heel, disappearing up the stairs in search of the aforementioned chocolate remedy.

Across the room, Jake was busying himself turning his body into a massive slice of Swiss cheese while Billy circled him with unwavering amazement.  Setting his hands on the rim of the control panel, running his fingers over the foreign metal Finn took his time strolling around the circular master control.  He watched with youthful curiosity as the blinking lights dazzled his eyes, glancing up at the central column, aglow with a teal hew that absolutely breathed mystery and life.  Blinking to break his trance, the boy shook his head, aggravating his contused skull and making him flinch.

His curiosity was soon turned to the panel of lights and buttons and switches, and for a moment the adventurer’s under-used imagination got the better of him.  With The Doctor out of sight and Billy distracted by the shape-shifting canine, Finn was free to touch the TARDIS controls without interruption; and his curious hands pressed every button, turned every dial, flipped every switch, and threw every leaver they could grasp. For that brief moment he felt more adventurous than he ever had before; like was the master of time and space.  With the controls at his disposal and a rampant imagination, the boy thought of himself as a great adventurer at the helm of his time machine, righting wrongs across every square parsec of an infinitely vast universe.

And then she lurched.  The TARDIS trembled and roared, pitching violently; so much so that Jake and Billy toppled like dominos and Finn had to clutch at the panel to keep his footing.  The pillar of light in the center of the machine glowed and the mechanism within undulated with every reverberation of the craft’s booming voice.  Slamming his eyes shut, Finn yelped with surprise; he’d only been playing pretend after all, and he hadn’t expected to actually break anything.  As soon as the time machine began to groan and shake, The Doctor had appeared from one of the upper rooms, clutching to the door frame as he looked on in shock as the TARDIS fired up.

“No no no no no no no!” He declared as he held onto the railing, scrambling rather gracelessly down the staircase onto the main deck to the control panel. “What have you done?!” he shouted over the grinding of the space-time breaks, finally finding a hold next to Finn.

“I don’t know man!” The boy squeaked in response as the machine lurched again, nearly throwing him to the floor.  “I didn’t mean to break it! I was just playing around!”

“You can’t just throw leavers and push buttons willy-nilly!” The Doctor exclaimed as sparks flew from the controls and he nearly lost his balance again.  “You’ll kill her like that!”

“Doctor!”  Came a shout from across the TARDIS.  The Time Lord looked over his shoulder to see his traveling companion clinging to one of the craft’s many elegant support beams.  “Where are we going in such a hurry? I thought you said we were going to have a look around!”

The Doctor shut his eyes tightly as another spray of sparks exploded from the panel, but when the danger had subsided, he didn’t reopen them.  Instead he held tight and felt the movement of the ship; felt her breath, every heave, every tremor.  She wasn’t tearing herself apart or ripping through dimensions, nor was she falling or careening out of control. She was traveling, just as normal – well perhaps a little more recklessly than normal, but traveling all the same.

“I don’t believe it,” he breathed, staring with wide-eyed amazement up at the glowing column as the growling TARDIS shook and spiraled through space and time.

“Doctor!”  Billy hollered as another shift nearly knocked him off his feet, his brow furrowed with apprehension; his previous rides in the time machine had never been this rough, and it was more than a little worrisome.  “Where are we going?  Why is the TARDIS acting all crazy?”

“I don’t know where we’re going!”  The Time Lord shot back, “the kid’s the one who pushed all the buttons.  We shouldn’t be _going_ anywhere!”

“Tell that to your space ship!” Jake shouted as he double-knotted his elastic body around one of the craft’s supporting columns.  He shielded his eyes with his floppy ears as a heavy shake from the craft upturned a box of spare circuit parts, pelting the mastiff with resistors and inductors.

“Just hold on!”  The Doctor shouted, as if that wasn’t already the obvious course of action.  There was another thunderous groan and a shower of sparks; the machine bucked wildly as it plowed through the turbulence of time and space.  There was a loud yelp as the particularly strong jolt tore the edge of the console from Finn’s sweaty grasp, and he was thrown back away from the central hub towards the dangerous outer wall.  The boy slammed his eyes shut and braced himself for a rather painful impact, but instead there was a hand around his wrist holding him fast and keeping him from being thrown like a rag doll.  “I said _hold on._ ”


	3. Chapter 2: This is Aperture

Finally the whirling and the pitching and the roaring ground to a halt, leaving the passengers dazed.  When finally each could balance on his own two feet – or four paws – The Doctor dared to peek at one of the TARDIS monitors in an attempt to find out where they were exactly.

“Looks like we’ve made a fair jump,” he commented, “nearly a billion years farther in the future.  The human race has reconquered their home planet, reinventing the world that once was destroyed.”  He turned on his heel, straightening his tweed jacket and smoothing his comb-over.  “Gentlemen, welcome to the collapsed second Technological Revolution.”  Taking a pace towards the doors, The Doctor couldn’t help but smile.  “Ah the human race is always so amazing.  No matter how many times you nearly annihilate yourselves, you always come back stronger.  You’re like dominos really… you knock yourselves down from time to time, but you set up again in greater numbers and greater complexity.”  Reaching the top of the stairs which lead to the TARDIS door, The Doctor pivoted again, facing his guests.  “Shall we take a look around?”

“Aw yeah! Time-travel adventure!” Jake declared, raising his paw to his human companion.

“Holy cow!”  Finn responded eagerly, high-fiving his friend’s paw.

“Billy?”  The Time Lord asked, looking up at the blonde scientist, his eyes begging for an answer.  The man fidgeted, clearly feeling unnerved by their less-than soft landing.  Coughing, he looked over his shoulder nervously, not wanting to show how apprehensive he was about venturing out into a time and place that sounded altogether dangerous.

“I don’t know Doc…” he hesitated, rubbing at his shoulder and trying to avoid the time traveler’s gaze.  “Sounds pretty sketch… Mind if I suit up for this one?”

“Go right ahead.  We’ll wait just outside for you.”  With a nod, Billy turned and dashed up the stairs on the North side of the TARDIS, taking the steps two at a time.  The Doctor smiled after him, waving him off before finally putting a hand on the door.

“Now boys, I have to tell you something, and this is very important.  While we are here, we are guests, we are observers.  I need you both to not interfere with the world out there unless there is something seriously wrong, in which case I will let you know it’s acceptable to interfere.”  He gave the duo a very stern look, trying to pressure them both into heeding his words.

“But what if somebody needs help?”  Finn asked, his heroic nature manifesting in his willingness to alter the course of history for the sake of assisting others.

“Then I’m going to have to ask you not to do anything without my okay.”  The boy clearly deflated, only picking up a little bit when the dog by his side gave his cheek a comforting lick.

“It’s okay dude,” Jake consoled his boy, “we don’t want to screw up time or anything.  Like The Doctor said, we’re not supposed to be here, so we need to not mess anything up.”  Finn folded his arms across his chest with a disgruntled huff and twisted his mouth to the side in a sulk, but another reassuring lick from his best friend brought the smile back to the boy’s face.

With a quirky smile and a curt nod, The Doctor pushed on the TARDIS door, swinging the blue panel out and letting in the sickly natural light of the outside world.  The trio squinted as they emerged from the artificial dim of the time machine, the adventurer lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the glare.

They were clearly inside a large, underground structure – perhaps a warehouse or a hanger – which had long since fallen to ruin.  There were rust stains seeping down whitewashed steel walls, and long tendrils of ivy hung through places where the roof had caved in under the stress of the above world.  Light filtered through a screen of imposing greenery, and there was a steady trickle of water from a gaping breech in the structure, as if it had rained recently and the sodden ground was allowing the extra water to run off into the unnatural underground cavern.

Having never laid eyes on such a sight before, Finn looked around the wide-open space, shuffling carefully across grime-laden floor panels, praying to Glob that they wouldn’t give out under his weight.  He wheeled around in alarm as a loud squawk and a fluttering of wings caught him by surprise.  The adventurer turned just in time to see a blackbird escaping the facility through the massive hole in the roof.  Clutching his chest to feel his pounding heart, Finn heaved a sigh of relief and slouched a little.

“Relax dude, it’s only a bird,” Jake grumbled as he took a seat next to his boy.

“I wasn’t scared” Finn protested with a stubborn frown, “it’s just weird in here, and it caught me by surprise. That’s all.”

While the two adventurers were busy talking, The Doctor had taken to wandering around the immediate area, making a thorough sweep with his sonic screwdriver and taking a reading of the place the TARDIS had landed them.

“This is brilliant,” he murmured to himself, “this place is titanic and labyrinthine, and every inch of it is mechanical.  I’m picking up a faint signal; someone somewhere is controlling this entire structure, whether by moving it... or keeping it stationary.”

“Whoa” Finn breathed, standing below the gaping hole in the roof and looking up.  “We must be really far underground; I can barely see the sky all the way up there.”  True to his words, the sky was stories and stories above them through tens if not hundreds of levels of destroyed floors.  Finally looking away and taking a hold of his backpack straps to pull the satchel up higher against his shoulders.  “Is this like an underground city or something?”

“Not exactly…” The Doctor mused, tucking his sonic device back into the inner pocket of his jacket.  “It appears to some sort of testing laboratory…”

He stopped short as a soft click came from behind, indicating that Billy had finally rejoined their group.  The scientist had changed his wardrobe drastically, now being clad in a white lab coat, thick rubber gloves and boots, and laser goggles nestled in his blonde cowlick.  He carried with him something that looked like a ray gun, holding the device delicately is if it could fall apart in his grasp if tilted the wrong way.  As he stepped forward to stand next to The Doctor such that the Time Lord would catch him up on the strange new world, Jake wrinkled his nose and grunted.  Turning nervously to his companion, the mastiff muttered under his breath.

“Finn…” He grunted nervously, “this Billy guy smells a lot different… like… I’m picking up a strong scent of evil on that scientist garb…”

“Dude, you said the same thing the first time you met Peppermint Butler,” the boy replied skeptically.  “I think your shnoz is off, bro.”

“No way man, this shnoz has been sniffing out danger since you were in diapers.  I know evil when I smell it, and that guy _definitely_ smells like evil.”

“Whatever dude, you’re crazy.”

“Come on, Finn.  I know what I’m talking about.”  Jake frowned and gave an indignant snort, butting his boy in the ribs with the top of his head.  “And I’m serious about Peppermint Butler, dude’s scary as math.”

Finn only laughed and patted the mastiff on the snout, making him snort and chuckle a little.

“Cool it man, I’m sure he checks out.  I mean you picked up on The Doctor’s righteous vibe, right? And if The Doctor trusts Billy, then he’s gotta be cool.”  Jake groaned, but eventually conceded and ducked underneath his boy, lifting Finn onto his back and trotting over to meet up with their guides.

“So what’s the word, Doc?”

“Don’t you mean _‘what’s up, Doc?’_?”  Billy corrected looking hesitantly over at the adventurer and his canine steed.

“Uh… sure?”  Finn shrugged, not understanding the difference between the two phrases.  “Why not?”  After that a kind of awkward quiet settled in while The Doctor took one last reading with his screwdriver.

“It would appear as if the TARDIS has landed us in some sort of underground science facility.  I’m picking up trace amounts of several toxic chemicals however, including cyanide and tetrodotoxin – very nasty, very not good stuff – so I advise you not to touch anything.”  The group nodded, proceeding cautiously as The Doctor led them towards the one apparent exit to the room; a circular mechanical gate with a long-since deactivated security camera to its immediate right.

When the group had come within 15 feet of the door, however, an overhead light came on and a red-lensed camera sprung to life, tracing their movement with what they could only assume was heat-tracking technology.  A lamp came on beside the electronic door, illuminating a number eight to the left of the gate.

“Welcome to Aperture Laboratories, testing track 64: stage 7,” came a mechanical voice over an unseen intercom.

“Look at that” The Doctor pointed up at the camera with a grin.  “Completely automated facilities; motion activated pre-recorded messages.  This place is completely derelict and still operating.”

“Due to no fault of Aperture Laboratories, you have become trapped in this room.  A courtesy exit will open in 3… 2…”  The door sparked and groaned, but didn’t open.  There was a long pause as this process repeated three times before the door fell silent and a warning buzzer sounded.  “Due to a mechanical failure, Aperture Laboratories is unable to open a courtesy exit.  Please stand by and wait for an official Aperture Laboratories associate to assist you.  We apologize for the inconvenience.”  After that, things went silent except for the quiet buzzing of neon lights and the occasional repositioning of the security camera.

“Well, nothing’s perfect.  I guess we’re going to have to crank this door open ourselves,” The Doctor commented, reaching into his tweed jacket pocket and withdrawing his trusted sonic screwdriver.  Finn and Jake both looked at him skeptically, but stood back as he waved the glowing device around the door, sliding it around the edges and along every crack.  Finally the door groaned and sparked, but refused to open.  Standing back and rubbing his chin with a puzzled look, The Doctor grunted and shrugged.  “Nothing’s perfect.”

“What? Where did you come from?”  The intercom came on again, this time playing an electronic-sounding female voice.  “How did you get in testing track 64?  No.  How did you get into this _facility_?”

“Is this another pre-recorded message?”  The scientist inquired, taking a step towards the security camera which then focused exclusively on him.

“What do you think, moron?” the intercom spat venomously.

“I _think_ I have a PhD,” Doctor Horrible shot back, “so who’s the moron now?”

“Anyone can print a PhD off of the internet; it doesn’t make them more a doctor than printing off a birth certificate would make me a human.”  Doctor Horrible paused; bantering had never been his strong suit, and he found himself at a complete loss for words.

“Rude…” he finally managed to mutter, taking a step back, retreating to let his more diplomatic partner handle the situation.

“You lot still haven’t answered my question.”  The camera scanned the group again as if egging them on to forfeit an answer.  “How did you get into this facility?”

“That’s easy!”  Finn blurted, “we jumped through like time and space and junk!”

“What?!”

“Yeah! The Doctor’s time machine is that blue box over there! It looks really small but it’s actually bigger on the - umf!”  There was suddenly a rubber glove clapped over the boy’s mouth as too late Billy silenced him.  Those lights which worked properly came up, bathing the entire room in a paled, yellow light.

“A time machine?”

There was a low rumble of grinding gears, and an entire wall rippled, breaking off large chunks of rust and plant mass, moss and dirt falling to the floor in clods.  A few lose, porcelain ceiling panels dropped from the roof and plummeted and shattered against the steel floor below.

“No…” The Doctor breathed just before the entire floor rippled.  It was as if the laboratory’s controller was flexing her command over the entire facility.  “No no no No No NO NO!”  Before any of his cohorts realized it, the Time Lord was sprinting back towards the TARDIS at full tilt; only after they realized what was going on did the others follow suit.  It suddenly seemed as if the blue Police Box was miles away as they tumbled across a rippling tide of shifting floor panels.  The Doctor drew his sonic device, aiming it at the ground and trying to get the floor to stay still long enough to keep him from falling before he could reach his time machine.

“Oh no you don’t” the intercom sneered, “this is _my_ facility, and I’m confiscating this contraband... for science.”

In spite of his attempts to manipulate the movements of the room around them, the floor reared up and built a twenty foot wall between them and the TARDIS.

“NO!”  The Doctor shouted, waving his sonic screwdriver wildly at the newly stacked wall.  When the machines refused to obey, he touched the wall desperately with the palms of his hands, feeling for a weak point which wasn’t there.  He pounded his fists against it in sheer frustration, shouting at the panels in tongues.  The walls were abandoned quickly as his hands flew to his head, fingers combing through his hair with unbridled exasperation.  As he tried to calm himself the Time Lord paced in a tight circle, all the while his companions looked on with worry.

“Doctor…?”  Billy ventured cautiously, reaching out a hand to touch the man’s shoulder once he’d quit his frantic pacing.  He was ignored completely as the Time Lord pulled from his gentle palm, marching back towards the camera.  He clapped his hands and feigned a smile, cocking his head to the side to exaggerate his hidden annoyance.

“Give me back my box, computer-lady,” he demanded sweetly, like an offended child asking for his toy to be returned.

“I don’t think so.”

“Lower that wall immediately,” he pressed, managing to keep a level head and calm voice in spite of the situation, “and return the TARDIS.  You don’t know what, or who you’re dealing with.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?”  The electronic voice mocked, sounding altogether smug.  “I don’t think you realize fully who _you’re_ dealing with, Doctor.  Your lock-pick can’t override my command.  You can’t pass through the testing tracks without a Portal Gun.  You are completely trapped.”

“Listen; I don’t want to hurt you.  Now give back the TARDIS.”

“Did you not hear me the first time?”  She continued to mock, “You.  Are.  _Trapped_.”

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you there’s one thing you never put in a trap. If you’re smart.  If you value your continued existence.  If you have any plans about seeing tomorrow. There is one thing you never, _ever_ put in a trap.”

“And what would that be?”

“ _Me._ ”


	4. Chapter 3: The Pandimensional Floodgate

Heavy clanging echoed through the long backlit access tunnels between testing chambers of Aperture Laboratories.  The four infiltrators swept through the abandoned maintenance bays and catwalks riddling the inner workings of the facility.  They ducked under groaning steam pipes and dodged undulating pistons as they wound their way through a labyrinth within a maze.  Out of range from the prying cameras they only occasionally heard the faint echoing of the computerized voice.

“ _Where do you think you are going?  Because I do not think you are going where you think you are going_.”

Somehow they managed to pass over most of the hazards by taking full advantage of The Doctor’s sonic screwdriver, Doctor Horrible’s Freeze Ray, Jake’s stretchy powers, and Finn’s remarkable stamina.  Occasionally they would come across an arrow painted onto the walls and the pipes, as if someone had run this course before them and had marked safe passage.  Gradually the rusted maintenance tunnels fell away into a demolitions testing facility, which fell away into neat offices and white linoleum hallways.

The quartet stopped as they rounded a corner and came upon a large, circular gate like the one they’d seen in the testing track.  All around were signs in black and red professing ‘danger’ ‘authorized Aperture Laboratories personnel only’ ‘warning: high voltage’ and ‘Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System central core facility.’

“Well… judging by the number of warning signs, I’d say we’ve found central command” Doctor Horrible commented, adjusting the goggles on his forehead nervously.  “So what’s the game plan, Doctor?”  The Time Lord scratched the back of his head for a moment looking around hoping that some of the posters would give him a hint, but no such luck.

“Uh,” he muttered, “I don’t know…”  He got several confused looks from his companions, each of them having expected for The Doctor to have a fantastic plan this whole time.  “Now wait a minute,” he defended, “I still don’t know who we’re up against.  I’ll come up with a plan once we get acquainted with the lady behind the security cameras.”

“And then we’ll kick the crud out of her!”  Finn blurted, drawing a spare sword from his backpack, “right?”

“Ah… well…”  The time traveler paused, attempting to avoid the boy’s obvious desire for violent conflict.  He fidgeted before finally answering, “no.”

“The Doctor doesn’t hurt people if he can help it.”  Billy filled in his friend’s failing words for him, “It’s part of being a Doctor.  You know, helping people, saving them and stuff.”

“So what are we supposed to do?  Go in there and give her some hot soup?”  Finn grumbled with aggravation.  “That’s lame, man.”

“It’s not lame,” Billy growled, bending down so his face was on level with the adventurer’s, “it’s heroic and noble and kind.”

“No, it’s stupid!”  Finn stood on his tip-toes to try and bring himself up above the scientist’s level.  “I think he’s scared, that’s why he never wants to fight.”

“You don’t know his burden!”  Doctor Horrible snapped back, getting more and more angry with the child’s insults, even if they weren’t directed at him.  “He’s got more bravery and righteousness in a single hair than you’ve got in your whole body!”

“Whoa now!” Jake butted in, pushing the two apart before things escalated further.  “Let’s calm it down now guys; remember who the enemy is.”  Finn puffed out his cheeks, finding the urge to keep fighting difficult to suppress.  Eventually he heaved a heavy sigh and deflated, letting things go as they were.

“Alright then…” The Doctor muttered, rubbing his hands together as if nervously hoping to defuse the situation with a bit more fidgeting.  “Shall we?”  He motioned to the door, trying to ignore the glares Finn and Billy exchanged.  “Uh… right.”  Continuing to avoid even the conflict within his group, The Doctor made quick work of the final door, opening it with a quick pass from the sonic screwdriver.

The four advanced carefully, descending a short flight of stairs into a wide open, high-ceilinged room.  In the center of the room there was a large, semicircular catwalk, a large bundle of delicate electronic equipment hanging overhead while the TARDIS waited below.  The door of the time machine was wide open, and several heavy cables were running from her belly up to the massive suspended computer.  On the rightmost corner of the catwalk was a young woman sitting on a metal box and looking rather bored.  When the newcomers entered, she looked up with a startled expression, brushing thick brunet hair out of her eyes and tucking it haphazardly behind her ear.

“You there!”  The Doctor called from across the room as the woman rose to her feet and turned to face him, “I’ve come for my box back.”  She didn’t make any motion to protect the police box, or to stop his advance, just kind of watched them the way a deer watches a hunter who’s run out of arrows.  As the group continued to move forward, she shifted warily, watching them with utmost caution, adjusting her stance as if preparing to run.

“Hello, Doctor” came the electronic voice they’d heard from over the intercom system.  “You’ve kept me waiting.”  The woman bent down and clutched a black and white device, affixing it to her right arm, still eying the Time Lord and his companions with wary skepticism.  “I expected more timeliness from a man who holds all the power of space, time, and the universe in the palm of his hand… oh wait… without your little time machine that isn’t true anymore, is it?”

“Give the TARDIS back.”  Still The Doctor marched forward with purposeful strides.  “I told you I didn’t want to hurt you, and I mean that.  Whatever you need I can help you, but you can’t have the TARDIS.”

“I’m afraid your TARDIS is otherwise occupied,” she sneered.  The girl on the cat walk backed up, retreating behind the metallic cube and preparing to act if things got out of hand.  “You see, I’m conducting my biggest experiment yet, and I can’t do it without your little blue box.”

“I’ll only ask nicely one more time,” The Doctor growled, his patience beginning to wear thin, “give my box back.”

“You’re persistent,” she retorted keenly, “usually I appreciate persistence, but I’d pick cleverness over persistence any day, and so far I have yet to see any cleverness from you, Doctor.”

“Then you must have been paying too close attention to me and not close enough attention to my friends.”

Before she could react there was a flash of blue light accompanied by a high-pitched screech.  Doctor Horrible was crouched, having extended the tripod from the bottom of his Freeze Ray and firing it; the Time Lord’s little spiel had bought him just enough time for the gun to warm up.  Across the room the woman on the catwalk had been in the process of vaulting over the railing and making a break for cover when she’d been caught in the time-stopping beam, freezing her mid-jump.

“Now I’ll be taking my TARDIS back,” The Doctor retorted smartly as he proceeded to march forward.  He came up short, however when a sharp repetitive sound began to echo throughout the facility; like the sound of a synthesizer attempting to reproduce the sound of clapping.

“Well done, Doctor.  Very clever; I’m impressed.”

“What?!”  He turned and gave Billy a completely confused look.  “But I thought the thing with the ray and… Should she be talking?”

“Um…”  The scientist was just as confused as The Doctor was, checking over his machine before looking up to make sure that his target was still frozen.  “She shouldn’t be talking… she can’t be talking!  She’s frozen in time!”

“Well of course she shouldn’t be speaking,” the computerized voice continued, sounding more and more smug with every second, “Chell can’t speak.  Oh, wait.  Don’t tell me.  You thought I was Chell, didn’t you?  Well I’m sorry to disappoint, boys, but you’ve got the wrong girl.”

“Then show yourself!”  Finn shouted, brandishing his sword and turning to check behind them and make sure they weren’t going to be ambushed.

“I am showing myself.  I couldn’t be in planer sight if I tried.”

“Wait,” Holding out his sonic device, The Doctor waved the tool quickly, affirming that there were in fact six sentient beings in the room instead of five.  He quickly confirmed the screwdriver wasn’t accidentally picking up the TARDIS, before directing the device upwards.  “Oh, that is _good_ ” he mused, daring to take another few steps forward, “that is _magnificent!_   This… _this_ is you!”  Turning around with a wide smile on his face he spread his arms as if making a formal presentation to his companions.  “Guys, guess what.  This whole time we’ve been talking to a gigantic, artificially intelligent supercomputer.  And here I thought it was just faulty transmission over the intercom.”  Glancing over at the scientist, he nodded, indicating he could turn off his device and set the accidental target free.

As soon as she was released, Chell began to fall and quickly squeezed the trigger on her arm mount, there was an orange flash and a blue flash, and suddenly she’d vanished through a glowing blue hole in the floor.  In a blink she was flying through the air directly at them; Billy flinched, and Finn raised his blade but The Doctor didn’t budge as she came to a skidding halt on her heels half a foot before him.  For a long while the two stared at one another, silently reading, judging, analyzing before finally, a break.  A smile cracked across the girl’s lips, and the time traveler returned it.

“Thank you Chell,” the sneering computer interrupted, “I couldn’t have set a better trap myself.”  With a loud hiss like airbrakes on a city bus, a large clear container folded up out of the ground, completely enclosing them.  Whipping around, the girl pointed her portal gun at the ground and fired, resulting in a worthless splash of blue sparks.  “On any other day I would have simply flooded your container with deadly neurotoxin, but thanks to Chell, my neurotoxin has been completely exhausted so instead you’ll all just have to sit back and watch as I conduct my greatest experiment.”  She paused, the massive computer shifted, a yellow lens on one component focusing on her victims with almost spiteful intent.  “Sit back and relax, Doctor.  I have a feeling you’re going to like what I’m about to do.”

The trapped group could only look on as the TARDIS roared to life, the light at the top of the police box blinking the way it does when traveling, but this time the time machine didn’t fade in and out.

“Stop that!” The Doctor shouted, slapping his palm against the transparent wall as if doing so would get the computer’s attention.  “You’re choking her!  You can’t do that!”  But heedless to his cries, the experiment continued, gradually the grinding coming to a crescendo.  With each steady roar a bright line began to form through the air between the AI and her prisoners, as if the working of the TARDIS was etching a line across the seamless face of reality. 

“Ah yes! It’s working.”  The computer looked on with eager anticipation as the crack grew wider and wider.  “The ultimate portal; a bridge from one universe to another.”  Every groan the machine made drew the line longer until the strain was too much and the weak point in the universe tore open.

“You can’t do that!”  The Doctor shouted to no avail.  “You’ll rip the time vortex to pieces abusing it like that!”  Too late, the gateway was open, a perfect oval of shimmering white suspended in thin air, glittering and glowing like a celestial corona.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’ll be the last thing you see!”

Then the first being crossed from through the rift; a machine built like a rubbish bin without any appendages save for a ray gun, a suction cup and a spindly camera.  The alien levitated in the center of the room for a few moments while it surveyed the entire room, doubtlessly taking countless readings.

“Environment safe,” it growled in a gravely, robotic voice.  Shouting in protest no longer did anything to help them, and the Time Lord could only stand back, completely horrified as thousands of the aliens poured through the breach of space-time.

“Doctor,” Finn breathed, his courage fading fast, “what are they?”

“Daleks.”


	5. Chapter 4: The Experiment

The next moment passed like a blink and an eternity.  The Daleks poured through the gap in reality like sand through an hourglass, flooding the control room in no time at all.  They identified The Doctor immediately, circling around the clear prison and firing their lasers at him but to no avail, the shield had neither any way out nor any way in.  Without another option, the aliens turned their blasters to the ground, carving a ring through the floor around the base of the container; and they were falling.

The prison dropped five stories, fifteen, thirty.  They landed in a pile of rubble, severed from the shield generating power source the prison had been rendered plastic and shattered on impact.  If it hadn’t been for Jake using his stretching powers to create a protective veil around them, the fall would have left no survivors.  Deep in the chasmal pit below Aperture, the only illumination came from the small sliver of light from where they’d just come, and from the green glow of The Doctor’s sonic screwdriver.  Fearfully the group clustered together, taking solace in the shallow space illuminated by the device.  They didn’t have long to find their bearings, however, as a shriek from overhead drove them to scatter, taking cover where they couldn’t be seen.

There was a blink of light from above, and for what felt like a long while the sound of the supercomputer’s electronic voice grew ever closer.  Like a flash Chell leaped from her hiding place, snatching the falling light from the air and rolling, clutching it carefully to her chest.

“Oh thank god you caught me” The AI gasped as the girl held her out “I thought you were going to let me become mashed potatoes there for a minute.”  And sure enough, Chell cradled a potato in her palms, the core of intelligence having been torn from the massive computer and wired into a potato battery.  “Listen, Doctor.  No hard feelings about trapping you and taking your box and opening a portal between dimensions and releasing a fleet of robot aliens to take over the world… right?”

There was a long paused and all eyes turned towards the Time Lord who seemed more than a bit shook up by all that had just happened.  He took his time answering, brushing his mussed bangs away from his eyes and taking a step closer such that he could take a good long look at her.  He pursed his lips, studying the AI with intense scrutiny, narrowing his eyes and rubbing his chin.

“Name yourself,” he murmured, a passive command; the Time Lord was well versed in the power of a name, and if he couldn’t read the computer’s eyes, he would have to make his decision based on name.

“Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, or GLaDOS.”

“Well, GLaDOS, as I said, I don’t want to hurt you,” The Doctor paused as if he was struggling not to second guess himself, “but you have to work with me now, and promise if we get out of this alive, you’ll give me back my TARDIS.”

“Deal…  I won’t be making that mistake again.”

“Wonderful!”  He clapped and grinned, turning around to face his reemerging companions, “alright, we just plummeted hundreds of feet down into the belly of an abandoned laboratory; what are our assets?”  There was an empty pause before anyone took a step forward; Billy cleared his throat and glanced around in his typical nervous fashion.

“Well… mostly human… You’ve got three people, a rubber dog, and a talking potato.  The Freeze Ray seems to have survived the fall, and the new girl has some kind of transporter gun.”  He trailed off again, reverting back to fidgeting with his goggles.  “Uh… it would be easier to compile a list of assets if we knew what we were up against… I mean… what _were_ those things, Doctor?”

“Daleks,” the Time Lord replied, trying to keep as straight a face as possible, but the slightest inkling of a frown still found its way onto his lips.  “They’re the mutated descendants of the Kaleds of the planet Skaro shielded within impregnable Dalekanium armour.  They are extremely clever, adaptable, xenocidal, and mean.”

“Okay, so how do we beat them?”  Finn asked, always eager for a good scrap with evil, “Every baddie has a weakness.”

“Well the pitch from a sonic device like my screwdriver can temporarily stun them, but it would have to pass through an amplifier in order to affect this many of them.”  The Doctor’s brow furrowed as he fell into cogitation, mulling over every possible strategy.

“If I may offer something,” GLaDOS interrupted his thoughts, “Aperture Laboratories did once used to be staffed by humans, and they left behind several pieces of technology which could serve as amplifiers: transformers, personal computers, radios, -”

“Ha! That’s perfect!”  He exclaimed with a wide grin, “If we can get our hands on a radio or two we could create a sonic _bomb_!”  He bent over to get a little closer to the intelligent vegetable.  “Tell me, GLaDOS… is your interdimensional portal designed to be self-sustaining?”

“Of course it is” she retorted, sounding almost insulted that he would even think any differently “it’s simply an adaptation of Aperture Laboratory’s previous portal device.”

“Perfect! Oh, that’s brilliant.”  His smile was growing with every passing second.

“You’ve got a plan, don’t you Doctor?”  Billy said with a knowing smile.

“Oh, have I got a plan.”

 

***

 

With Chell leading the way through the ruined laboratories with her portal gun, the enlarged group wound its way through floors’ and floors’ worth of desolate access passageways, and treacherous catwalks.  All the while The Doctor elaborated on his idea, explaining exactly what he had in store for the Daleks.

 “So you see, because the portal is self-sustaining, and the entire Dalek race has been contaminated with this interdimensional stuff, that means they had to close the portal somehow to keep from being pulled back into the space between dimensions.”  He occasionally glanced behind himself to make sure that Billy was following close enough behind to overhear.  “So what we’re going to do is sonic-bomb the Daleks, which should paralyze them for long enough for the portal to reopen.  Now once the rift is open again, it will begin to draw everything that has been contaminated by the stuff: that’s the Daleks, the TARDIS, and me.  Therefore I propose a long-distance attack.  We’re going to have to make the device remote-activated.”

“That shouldn’t be any trouble,” Billy replied with a nod as he followed The Doctor through a blue portal such that the group could skip over a flight of sketchy-looking stairs.  “Most of that stuff should already be inside a radio, so our job will just be to rearrange it.”

“Fantastic” the Time Lord replied with an eager grin.

They continued following Chell through the narrow corridors only stopping when they came upon a culvert at the base of the wall which served as little more than a drain.  It took a lot of shimmying, but eventually everyone was through to the other side, being a room accessible only by a hole carved in the ductwork.  The space seemed to have been cut out of the very walls of Aperture Laboratories, lined from edge to edge with rubbish, and the walls were mostly painted with murals depicting the hazards of the testing facility.  But the few unpainted sections of walls were made completely inaccessible by piles and piles of radios.

Some were clearly unusable, soaked in putrid corrosives and rendered unserviceable, while others were in near mint condition.

“This is fantastic!”  The Doctor exclaimed, clapping his hand together eagerly, “alright everyone, let’s get started!”

Together they gathered the best of the radios, sorting through nearly twenty before they found one with charge still in its batteries.  Shoving a crate into the center of the room, Doctor Horrible set up with the radio, pulling his laser-goggles over his eyes, indicating that he was preparing to go to work.

“We have to get this radio open.”  Billy looked up and pointed at the screws in the back of the device.  “Doctor, would you mind?”

 “Not at all.”  Squatting next to his companion, The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at the back of the radio, quickly unscrewing each and popping the back open.

“Good. Grab some extra chips from some unused radios. I’m going to need parts, lots of parts.”  With a nod, the Time Lord picked out a couple of radios, removing their back plates and showing Finn and Chell which components they needed.  Together the three set to work picking different elements off of the circuit boards and passing them along to Billy until there were several substantial piles of radio parts.  “Alright, it looks like we’ve got enough transformers, amplifiers, resistors, capacitors, and some lights. This could actually work…”

“How are we going to receive the signal?”  The Doctor interjected, “we haven’t got the parts to broadcast radio waves, and if we can’t control the input then we won’t be able to send the sonic signal.”

“We won’t need to use a radio signal,” Billy reassured, looking over his shoulder, “because fortunately, we have the perfect light sensor right in front of us…”  His gaze shifted slowly to the potato which was currently skewered on the end of Chell’s portal gun.  The computer realized that their attention had suddenly become directed at her.

“You wouldn’t dare—”

“GLaDOS,” The Doctor started carefully, knowing she would be a little more than resistant to the idea.  “We need to borrow your eye… Just for a little bit.”

“I’ll remove it!”  Finn chimed in eagerly, raising his hand to call attention to himself.

“That won’t be necessary,” waving him off The Doctor withdrew his trusty tool.  “My sonic screwdriver can do the trick, quickly and painlessly.”

“Oh come on!”  GLaDOS protested as Chell pulled her gracelessly off of the end of her portal device.  “Isn’t there another option?”

“Not unless you think we have the time and material to build a radio tower,” Billy retorted sharply, “which I assure you we don’t.”

“Fine, but just because we have no other options.”  The spud was carefully passed off from Chell to The Doctor who quickly removed the optic component from the front of the computer’s core, handing the delicate eye piece over to the scientist.

“Perfect,” Billy grunted, holding out his hand to accept The Doctor’s sonic screwdriver to be used as a soldering iron.  “I should just be able to run the signal through a buffering transformer… boost that with an op amp… tune that signal with a variable resistor… and project it through an infra-red LED.”  He spoke aloud as he talked himself through the delicate process, careful not to accidentally melt any of his components.  “Then, GLaDOS’s eye can pick up that signal—but it’ll be pretty weak at that distance—so I’ll need to amplify it with another op amp.”  He paused to wipe his brow with the sleeve of his lab coat, feeling the pressure of haste wearing on his nerves.  “A final capacitor should be at the end to make any corrections to get a clear sound.”  All the while the time traveler had been watching diligently, simultaneously curious and fascinated.

“And then you just connect that circuit to a speaker. Brilliant.”  He grinned and patted the scientist reassuringly on the shoulder.

“Seems like that degree was put to some good use. For once.”  GLaDOS muttered, clearly sore about having her eye taken away; still it was at least an attempt at a compliment.

While Billy was busy assembling the rest of their weapon, The Doctor gathered the rest of the group together so they could cook up a plan.

“Okay, so you guys understand most of the plan, right?  I mean like, we’ve got to place the sonic-bomb and set it off from a safe distance, but there are a few important details we need to get worked out.”

“Differential,” Finn murmured with quiet excitement.

“So, because we’re using an infrared input signal instead of a radio wave, we can’t just drop the bomb in the room and run, we have to position it so that we can hit the eye with a beam of light.”  He looked up at the brunet, and gestured with his hands, to make sure she was giving him her full attention.  “Chell, can you use your portals to get in, place the device, and get out quickly and quietly?”  She nodded surely, saying all she needed to with the firm look of determination in her eyes.

“Fantastic,” he clapped his hands resolutely before pointing with both index fingers at the bull mastiff.  “Jake.  As soon as the portal is open again, it will begin to pull the TARDIS inside, and if that happens, we’ll all be trapped in this time forever.  So I need you to stretch in after we’ve set off the device and secure the TARDIS and keep it from being pulled in.  Is that something you can handle?”

“No problem,” the dog affirmed, wagging his tail with excitement, “I’ll make sure nothing happens to it.”

“Perfect, now y–”

“What about me, Doc?”  Finn asked, having been waiting less than patiently for his special task.  When he was left out of the first two cool jobs, he began to get afraid he’d be left out of the entire master scheme.

“Finn, Chell is quick but not quicker than the Daleks’ death rays.  I need somebody who’s brave and agile to distract them so she can plant the device unnoticed, and that’s where you come in.”  Leaning in, The Doctor let his voice fall to a hush tone.  “This is by far the most dangerous job, so it’s not easy for me to ask you to do this, but I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you could do it.”  At that last statement, Finn’s eyes grew wide as saucers, an enormous grin spread across his face.

“You can count on me, Doctor!” he exclaimed eagerly, leaping to his feet and striking an attack pose as if he was already prepared to launch himself into battle.  Letting out a quiet chuckle, The Doctor couldn’t help smiling, finding himself inspired by Finn’s excitement.  “I’ll protect milady, the Portal Princess with my very life.”  Taking a knee and lowering his head, the adventurer bowed before a more than confused looking Chell.

“Hey, calm it down bro,” Jake muttered, “you don’t gotta do that…”

“It would be against my honor code not to,” Finn replied with a completely serious whisper, glancing up if only to give his dog a firm look.

“Dude, I’m starting to think you’re just making all this honor code junk up…” Jake muttered, twisting his lips to the side cynically.

“No way man, a hero never makes stuff up.”

Jake opened his mouth as if he was about to retort, but he was interrupted as Billy clapped loudly and yanked his goggles off with a victorious whoop.  The plotting powwow broke apart as The Doctor rejoined his companion to run a few tests on the device to make sure it would work before they employed it.  However, after many different attempts, they realized there was a fatal flaw in their design when the circuit completely failed even to receive a signal.

“Well, so much for that”  GLaDOS muttered.

 “I don’t understand” Billy sighed with frustration and combed his gloved fingers through his hair.  “Why is the sound only being output a third of the time?”

“Dude,” Finn interjected holding up his hands to garner attention, “you have to shoot lightning at it to make it work. That’s what I did with NEPTR and—”

“Oh yes, lightning” GLaDOS sneered.  “How could we forget?”

“Wait, what’s the minimum voltage for these LEDs?” Billy asked, turning one of the diodes between his fingers.

“1.4 volts.”

“Then we have a problem” the scientist muttered, holding his head in his hands jadedly.  “We need some way to step up the voltage by 1.4 volts before we send the signal to the LED…”

“Then we have a _real_ problem” added The Doctor as he sat down across from his companion.  “The radios don’t include anything that can do that. The extra power sources are all either drained or inaccessible.”

“Well, we need something, or else this plan is dead, and we will be soon after.”

“We have to try something. We’ve overcome worse than this."

“Guys, I’m serious,” Finn interrupted again, this time grabbing Billy by the shoulder, “lightning will work, I swear!”  There was a long silence as nearly everyone in the room had to determine whether or not he was truly being serious or just facetious.  Finally GLaDOS broke the silence.

“Ah, Finn: the next moron to grace me with his presence. Do you know what we do with idiots like you here at Aperture? We send them to space, where no one can hear their nonsense. Chell may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least she has the common decency to stay quiet. Well, I may have had a part in that, seeing as I removed her vocal chords. Oops, did I say that?”  Again the room went quiet until Jake just couldn’t hold in a guilty laugh.

“Heh heh.  Dude, you just got called stupid by a talking potato” he snorted.

“Shut up!”  Finn snapped back, bopping the dog on the end of his nose in an attempt to make him be quiet.  The boy’s cheeks were already flushing with embarrassment; he couldn’t believe she could be such a super jerk.

“Hey, come on Finn,” Jake pawed at the boy’s shoulder apologetically, “don’t go all mopey on us now.  We still need you.”

“What difference does it make?” he snapped back, shrugging his dog off angrily.  “There’s nothing we can do, and I’ve been no help. The potato was right, I have no potential…”

“Oh my god.”  GLaDOS suddenly interrupted with a gasp.  “Potential? Difference? Finn, my brilliant moron, you may not have potential, but _I do_.”

“Stop making fun of me!”  Finn shot back, having lost his patience for her quips.

“No, idiot” she retorted smartly.  “Potatoes can generate voltages. And I am a potato! Billy, connect me to the transformer!”

“That…” the scientist started, pausing for a moment to think over the suggestion and make sure that the logic was sound.  “That might just work!”  He carefully attached wires to the two probes in GLaDOS’s sides, attaching her in series with the circuit.

“Splendid!” chimed The Doctor.  “See, I told you it’d work out.”

“Wait…”  Finn paused, looking rather befuddled.  “I did something smart?”  With an enthusiastic jump, Finn threw a mock punch into the air.  “Mathematical!”  In spite of their earlier feud, GLaDOS felt compelled to join in.

“ _Scientific!_ ”

 


	6. Chapter 5: The Hero and The Void

With the sonic-bomb finally finished, and GLaDOS strapped into the remote, The Doctor’s scheme was finally set into motion.  They had to be quick and smart; any slipup would spell instantaneous death and complete failure of the entire plan.  It all had to go off without a hitch if any of them wanted to live to tomorrow.

Slipping through narrow ductwork, Chell showed the Time Lord a point – no more than a ventilation shaft – from which he and Billy could look down on the scene of the attack and send the weapon’s signal.  From there the two doctors waited with anxious anticipation for Finn to initiate the plan.  Holed up in the laboratory’s ducts, the two of them couldn’t help but feel extremely nervous, something that even GLaDOS could sense without her eye.

“It’ll be okay, Doctor,” she reassured quietly.  “I may not know the other two very well, but I know Chell.  With her leading the way there’s no chance for failure.”  The Time Lord tried to find solace in the encouraging words, but his mind couldn’t help but let every possible disaster unfold in his mind.  Then it started.

  Sword in hand, Finn dropped like a spider into the room, supported by one of Jake’s forelegs wrapped around his torso and stretched out like a bungee cord.  He flew through the air with a shriek, alerting every Dalek in the room and immediately drawing their fire.

“Exterminate!”  The invaders cried as they fired, but persistent and agile, he managed to dodge their blasts, swinging his sword in a mock attack so he was sure to keep their attention on him.

Then came Chell.  She dropped out of the same hole in the ceiling through which Finn was dangling.  Tucking her knees to her chest to protect the device, the brunet waited until the last possible instant before firing her portal gun.  The Daleks never knew what happened; a blue portal underneath her own feet and an orange on the wall hugging the ground. She came shooting out of the orange corona like a rocket, skidding across the ground and placing the device perfectly.  One more portal before her and she flew out of her first portal, sheer momentum popping her up within reaching distance of Finn.

As soon as the boy had a hold of Chell’s wrists Jake began to reel them back in, but with the woman’s added weight, it was slow moving, and the Daleks were beginning to close in.  Panicking, The Doctor activated the sonic-bomb sending the signal of his screwdriver to the receiver which caused the speakers to screech.

Just as he’d predicted the sonic blast was completely debilitating to the Daleks, and as soon as they were fully affected, the portal began to reopen.  The first of the aliens was pulled into the greedy rift, bringing a satisfied smile to The Doctor’s face.  The satisfaction didn’t last long, however; the premature activation meant Finn and Chell hadn’t been lifted to safety and now Jake was occupied with them and couldn’t reach the TARDIS.  For a moment the Time Lord’s hearts froze in his chest as he watched his time machine begin to rock as the pull from the interdimensional portal started to draw it in.

Suddenly Jake’s arm went entirely slack, and the pair in his grasp plummeted, only barely stopping before they impacted the floor below.  Breathing a sigh of relief, The Doctor almost lost his concentration.  With the two humans safe on the ground, Jake was free to stretch himself down from the ceiling.  He wound himself tightly around the shaking box, waving his body in intricate loops though every support beam in the surrounding catwalk, holding it fast.

When he was sure Jake would be fine, Finn stood back to watch as hundreds of Daleks tumbled through the air as they were falling back into the massive portal.  He grinned and put his hands on his hips, feeling pride in another heroic job well done.

“Looks like we won” he commented, “doncha think Portal Princess?”  There wasn’t an answer, but by now Finn was used to that, he looked over, expecting a smile or a nod of agreement, but as he pivoted, Chell wasn’t behind him like he thought.  Confused, he wheeled around to find her clinging desperately to a crack in the floor with her left hand, the rift pulling against her fiercely and trying to take her too.  “Portal Princess!”

With a lunge, he dove for her grabbing her by the right elbow and leaning against the pull of the interdimensional fissure.  It didn’t add up as to why the portal grabbed Chell, and not him, but he couldn’t let her get swallowed up along with those robotic monsters.  Thinking quickly, Finn drew his sword and sunk it deep between two floor panels, giving him leverage.  With one hand he grasped the hilt of his sword, and with the other he clutched the woman’s elbow.  She looked up, meeting the adventurer’s eyes with a genuinely fearful gaze, and his heart nearly broke.  He gritted his teeth and sweat beaded against his brow as he fought to keep a hold.

Chell shifted a little in his grasp, and in an instant the portal gun slipped from her forearm and was devoured by the radiant corona.  That little movement was just enough to make his grasp slip, and for a microsecond Finn lost hold of her elbow, just barely catching her wrist before she slipped away.  Abandoning her finger-hold in the floor, Chell clasped the boy’s wrist with both her hands, holding onto him for dear life.

There was a low groan from overhead, and the entirety of GLaDOS’s body swayed, bowing in the direction of the massive portal.  Finn’s arms began to tremble as he vied to keep the force from pulling him in half.  With his eyes slammed shut in pain and exertion, the adventurer didn’t even notice as the entire supercomputer tore away from the ceiling, careening into the rift.  The machine came within inches of crushing Finn and Chell both before it was consumed entirely by the interdimensional breech of its own creation.

There was a loud blast and a shockwave.  As GLaDOS’s body disappeared into the empty space between dimensions, the source of the portal vanished, the entire gap collapsing in and consuming itself like a massive clap of thunder.  Save for Finn finally slumping exhaustedly to the ground, and Jake unwinding from his knot around the TARDIS, the entire room fell still.

The boy gasped for breath, his arms falling limp like pulled taffy and his chest heaving.  He hoped to just lie there for a while as his screaming nerves calmed, but he was shaken from his fatigued stupor by the touch of something soft against his cheek.  His eyes snapped open as Chell pressed her lips against his cheek.  Blood rushed to the teen’s cheeks and he quickly fainted, the affection being the factor that tipped his scale and tore down the last fraction of his strength.

 

***

 

With their mission accomplished, the six unlikely teammates indulged a peaceful interlude, resting and sharing a hearty picnic from the bounty of the TARDIS.  Feeling indirectly responsible for the destruction of GLaDOS’s body, The Doctor offered to help the supercomputer to rebuild, an offer which was readily accepted.  With all able-bodied persons working together, the AI was restored to her former glory in less than a week.  With the last of their business in that time, the original quartet departed, though Finn wasn’t exactly glad to be leaving the Portal Princess behind.

The time travelers stopped back in Ooo briefly to return Finn and Jake to their home.  Before departing, however, The Doctor gave him one last parting gift.  He instructed the boy to kneel, and when the adventurer’s head was bowed, the he touched Finn’s shoulders with his sonic screwdriver.  Of course he was making the ceremony up off the top of his head, but it was the best parting gift he could think to present the deserving boy with.  The Time Lord dubbed him a “Time Knight” and presented him with a key to the police box.

“As long as you wear that key, I’ll always be able to find you and you’ll always have a link with the TARDIS.  You can keep it as long as you do one thing for me… stay righteous.”  He smiled and stepped back as the teen rose to his feet and tucked the key into his shirt for safe keeping.

“I won’t let you down, Doctor,” the adventurer replied with a sure nod, extending his hand for a shake.  “So this is goodbye I guess.”

“No,” the Time Lord shook his head softly and took the boy’s offered hand, “until we meet again.”

“Right.  Let’s meet again real soon then.”  At this The Doctor chuckled warmly.

“Alright, sounds like a plan.”

With that he turned and stepped back inside the blue box, shutting the door behind him.  Finn and Jake could only stand back and watch as the TARDIS roared and pulsed in and out of visibility.  And so one adventure came to an end, but for a righteous hero, another is always around the next corner.


	7. Epilogue: For Science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes the actual lab report in case anyone is actually interested in Electrical Engineering or Circuit Theory.
> 
> If not, you may still skim the report as there are several jokes woven in.

“Ahh, I’ve finally finished this accursed lab report,” sighed GLaDOS. “I despise those scientists for installing this “Coercive Mandatory Science Debriefing Results” software which forces me to see the experiment to its end, meticulously detailing everything in something as trivial as a lab report. And even worse is the software which prevents me from deleting either runtime. I wish someone would give them a piece of their own medicine. Well, I suppose I did annihilate them all with neurotoxin…”

“Regardless,” GLaDOS continued, snapping out of a tangent, “It’s time to continue science. I can finally begin to analyze all of the data gathered from that experiment on the TARDIS. Aperture may soon have a new portal gun,” she mused.

“And although they looked incredibly inefficient, bulky, and dumb, those Daleks were surprisingly effective. I still need to recreate the turret assembly line from scratch; perhaps I can add a few… alterations to the design?”

Somewhere in the deep, dark, forgotten recesses of Aperture, a printer sprang to life, finalizing the results of GLaDOS’s most recent experiment. The machine hummed as it spat out six pages, joined them with a staple, and ejected the finished product to a nearby table. Well, there had been a table there at one point, but it had been long-since replaced by a monstrous mound of untouched and unwanted reports.

The report, only known as “EXPERIMENT 713B52A63,” cascaded down the pile of papers until it found its final resting place among the thousands of other neglected documents. It would serve as a permanent memoir of the events of that day.

 

***

******

***

 

EXPERIMENT 713B52A63

APRIL 30TH, 1003063 AD

**  
**

**Abstract:**

The purpose of this experiment was to transmit a signal as light to play it via speakers at a distant receiver*. Experiment comprised six main components: audio isolator, transmitter driver, optical transmitter, optical receiver, receiver amplifier, and DC block. The audio isolator was a transformer that served two purposes: first, it acted as a buffer between the audio source signal and the rest of the circuitry; second, it stepped up the voltage by 1.4 volts via a potato**. When a potato has two terminals, one copper and one zinc, it generates a voltage between 1V and 1.5V. The transmitter driver was a TL084 operational amplifier which increased the power of the signal by supplying more current. The optical transmitter was an LED which transmitted the signal as infrared light. The light travelled a distance and was then received by the optical receiver, a PIN photodiode designed to operate under a large reserve bias.  The receiver amplifier was a TL084 operational amplifier with a 360KΩ feedback resistor to amplify the then-diminished signal. The DC block was a .02μF capacitor to remove the step-up phase shift in the signal. The result was a transmitter-receiver which allowed a speaker to play a signal sent remotely***.

 

 

 

**Introduction:**

| 

*It was also to drive those accursed home-wrecking, over-sized talking trash receptacles back to wherever they came from, but let’s be honest, that does not sound as scientific.

**I happened to be said potato at the time, but that does not jeopardize my objectivity.

***I also conclude that the Daleks are evil machines, and are never welcome at Aperture Laboratories.  
  
---  
  
The purpose of this experiment was to transmit a signal as light to play it via speakers at a distant receiver*. Experiment utilized a transformer, LED, two OPAMPs, a resistor, a capacitor, a potentiometer, and a potato to create a transmitter-receiver system. The input signal, which was a song passed from an operational Aperture Radio™, was sent through an audio isolator to protect the source signal and step up its voltage by 1.4V, a transmitter driver to boost the signal, an optical transmitter to convert the signal to light, an optical receiver to convert it back, a receiver amplifier to boost the signal to previous levels, a DC block to correct the offset, and finally a speaker jack to play the sound on a speaker. This experiment is perfect for aspiring engineers or intelligent people in general, as it combines many different electrical components into one coherent and functional system. Possible applications include transmitting soothing jazz at a safe distance, musical-laser-tag, and a weaponized, sonic-speaker-blast used to disrupt… unwanted… guests.

We used a PIN photodiode that was designed to operate under a large reverse bias. It also had a built in IR filter which reduced interference caused by ambient light. Hooked to the output of this photodiode was a TL084 operational amplifier with a 360k-ohm resister attached. This was used to boost the current of our signal in order to get good output to the speakers. The output of our amplifier was connected to a .02 **μ** F capacitor used as a DC block. This connected to a speaker jack, which we then plugged into our computer speakers.

 

**Equipment List:**

1x   Transformer

1x   PIN photodiode

2x   TL084 opamp

1x   360kΩ resistor

1x   .02μF capacitor

1x   Potentiometer

1x   Beautiful, Fresh, Intelligent Potato

1x   Time Lord

1x   Mad Scientist

1x   ~~Magical~~ Science Dog

1x   Moronic Prepubescent Boy

1x   Mute Lunatic

⅔x   Lbs. Cake Mix

 

**Procedure/Data Collection:**

To ensure that science is still functional and that no laws of physics were violated in this experiment, the circuit of the transmitter-receiver system was simulated and rigorously checked against its physical counterpart. The transmitter and receiver were simulated separately.

  

Transmitter:

 

Receiver:

 

(1)    The input signal.

(2)    Audio Isolator protected the signal’s source and increased the voltage by 1.4V, supplied by a potato.

(3)    Transmitter Driver, an operational amplifier with negligible feedback resistance, boosted the signal’s power.

(4)    Signal was then tuned via potentiometer to get a cleaner wave. Signal was then sent to the LED to transmit the wave as light.

(5)    The signal received from the IR light was shifted up 1.4 volts and had 1-volt peak-to-peak amplitude in optical receiver.

(6)    Signal sent through the receiver amplifier to greatly boost the voltage amplitude.

(7)    DC Block centered the signal back to 0.

A physical model was created to confirm the simulation. Before using an actual audio signal, the transmitter circuit was given a signal from a sinusoidal voltage source. After a bit of fine tuning from the potentiometer, the circuit output a uniform wave, indicating that the circuit was operational:

 

Once the IR LED was properly aligned with the receiver, some measurements were taken to confirm everything was working as expected. Wave patterns closely resembled those in the simulations. The signal was not boosted up by a perfect 1.4 volts, but that is to be expected. Readings:

 

After making sure the signal was clear and everything was working, the circuit was connected to speakers, which output the input signal’s sound quite accurately.

 

 

 

**Discussion of Results:**

Originally, the circuit was transmitting a faulty signal. It was found that the operational amplifier was not being provided with the proper input DC voltage, and the problem was soon fixed. Additionally, the signal being received was inconsistent; it would work for roughly thirty seconds and then go dead. Ultimately, this was due to the fact that the circuit was not properly grounded, and was quickly resolved. Once everything was properly implemented, the system played the input signal relatively well. It should be noted that the signal strength was very strong when close, quickly waned with distance, and was terminated entirely if the path was obstructed. Some of the error in this experiment arose from imperfections in the parts, but most of it arose from transmitting the signal as light. Because the signal was transmitted from one location and received at another, distant location, much of the light-signal was lost in the air, which yielded a diminished signal. Additionally, the optical receiver picked up some ambient noise, which obfuscated the signal further. Because there were many components in this system, any error from one component propagated throughout the entire system. Overall, the system could be improved with better components, specifically by using an actual DC voltage source instead of an unreliable potato. Ultimately, the experiment was a success, and output a good, clear signal.

 

 

**Conclusion:**

In conclusion, this was a triumph. I’m making a note here: huge success. The system successfully managed to take an input signal, transmit it across a distance as light, receive it, and finally play it on speakers. The output sound, though a bit grainy, synthetic-sounding, and slightly “aesthetically unappealing”****, resembled the input signal to within 5.351%. As an overview, this lab was wholly enjoyable and a great deviation from testing human subjects. It utilized many components and had a predictable, desirable outcome*****.  

| 

****sound quality was tested on 50 turrets; 25 had the pure, unaltered sound placebo, 25 had the actual output. 15% of the test group described the sound as “aesthetically unappealing,” compared to 5% of the control group. Additionally, the Daleks did not seem to enjoy the sound too much.

******Unlike human experiments.  
  
---  
   
  
 


End file.
